Most Divorcing Couple Need a Strategic Plan
The time-tested strategic planning process in business includes the following elements. • Vision • Mission • Long-Range Goals • Short-Term Objectives • Task Assignments (to accomplish the Short-Term Objectives) • Action Items (What do we do Tuesday?) Many Collaborative Practice processes already include the development of a Mission Statement as an early and integral element. While there is considerable value in the Mission Statement, it is my belief that most divorcing couples will benefit enormously from investing the time and effort to develop a full strategic plan. This article will describe what that might look like.
The Vision
Vision in the strategic planning process represents each spouse's identity at some time in the future. In other words: Who are these people? What overriding quality do they want front of mind when someone hears the name of either (then former) spouse? Here are a few examples.
1. Wonderful people. Really stepped up for their children. 2. Saw them at the graduation. Still get along. They even seem like friends. 3. Bitter. Spiteful. The kids are really getting bruised in all this. 4. Saw them at the wedding. You don't want to know.
Certainly, #3 and #4 are polar opposites, and there are many examples in the middle range. Nevertheless, couples need to understand at the outset that, if they are not very careful, these latter outcomes are distinct possibilities.
The Mission Statement, incl. Long-Range Goals
Marrying the Vision and Mission statements is essential, because it helps to solidify how achieving the couples mission and long-range goals will go a long way to achieving the identity that they both want. The long-range goals should be specific, with dates attached. To the extent possible, they should be measurable, such as "Keep the children in the house until the youngest graduates high school." Some will not be measurable, such as "The children will maintain a good relationship with both parents, and will have a largely happy outlook on life."
Short-Term Objectives (Next 12 months)
Accomplishment of the short-term objectives will give the couple a leg up on achieving the long-range goals. Because of the one-year deadline, this element should subsume the entire Collaborative Practice process. While many (even) Collaborative processes drag on for years, I believe that the investment in the strategic planning process will make this much less likely.
Again, specificity and measurability are key.
Task Assignments, by Quarter
A common complaint from Collaborative professionals is that one or both spouses drag their feet in providing information, setting meetings and/or making decisions. Perhaps, one reason is that they don't firmly grasp how procrastination or passive-aggressive behavior can affect outcomes and, eventually, their very identities as people. Setting clear task assignments by quarter can help.
The essential question is quite straightforward. What do we need to accomplish in the next three months to increase the chances of our achieving our 12-month short-term objectives? Task assignments should each have a deadline and one responsible party. An important agenda item for each meeting (in person or on the phone) should be to track progress, and to reinforce the deadline.
Action Items (What do we do Tuesday?)
This is where the rubber meets the road; in other words, in order to complete my task assignment, what specific actions do I need to take and complete, and by when? Telephone or e-mail follow-up by a Collaborative professional will be most helpful in focusing attention on these critical steps. Long-Term Benefits
Many of our Collaborative colleagues quite rightly point out that a key long-term benefit of the Collaborative process is that the couple has new-found ways to communicate and negotiate with one another. This capacity will prove critical as, for example, the growth of children renders the initial co-parenting plan obsolete.
In much the same way, a successful strategic planning process can provide a wonderful tool that the couple can break out at any time in the future when they face complex problems and critical decisions. We Collaborative professionals should encourage the spouses to climb aboard this train as soon as possible.
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